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The Best Collection of Funny SMS Messages.

I Wrote your Name on the Sand, It got Washed Away.I Wrote your Name in Air,It got Blownaway. So I Wrote your Name in my Heart, Saala Heart Attack aa gaya

Height Of Confusion: Whether To Laugh Or To Cry: Seeing Your Mother-in-law falling from 8th floor on ur new ferrari car. think abt it

sharab hai to mai-khane banee husan hai to dewane banee ap me bhe koi khaas baat hai tabhe to pagal khane banee

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

While walking down the street, I heard an old man say "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now." I was touched until I heard him say "I wish she knew."

F u were my baby I promise I won't hurt you. F u were finally mine, I promise id be loyal to you. But you're only my friend and I can't promise I won't fall for you.

Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.

When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.

Man b4 marage: Roses r red, Violets r blue believe it or not im mad 4u. After marage Roses r dead,im blue u make me mad some day ill kill u.

Flirting is the only job in the world that a man cannot include in his biodata despite having years of experience and number of references..

Emotional Comedy:Dil ko pata tha wo jarur ayegi,dil ko pata tha wo jarur ayegi..par kabi socha na tha k surprise me wo apna Husband 7 layegi

How can one reduce consumption of alchol? Before marriage drink only on days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r happy.

I Wrote your Name on the Sand, It got Washed Away.I Wrote your Name in Air,It got Blownaway. So I Wrote your Name in my Heart, Saala Heart Attack aa gaya.

Always keep a picture of your wife in your purse.Look at it when you are in trouble.You will feel that other problems are not as big as this one!

What men want? A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those women never meet each other.

God thought that since he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top

Ur smile can be compared with flowers, Ur voice can be compared with cuckoo, Ur innocence can be compared with a child, But in foolishness u have no comparisons.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

5 reasons why I like u. 1-u r never boring. 2-u know how 2 bring a smile on my face. 3-u r always on my side 4-u r perfect 5-u r always fooled by me.

An optimist is a guy who thinks his wife doesn't understand him.

To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expressions and many more mental qualities... Hats off to u bcoz u manage 2 live without them !!!

Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.

Winter comes again and again. Summer comes again and again, but a person like u never comes again and again because God never makes a mistake again and again.

Sun wouldn't be red, Sea wouldn't be blue, I wouldn't be happy, Without disturbing u.

Not every flower can represent LOVE but the roses did. Not every tree can stand thirst but the cactus did. Not every monkey can read this message but U did.

Someone asked me about ur age. Well, I said: “The way u dress-19, ur skin-15, the way u speak-20, the way u walk-18. in total u look 72 years old.



I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women

Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

Red Rose: Luv Yelloe Rose: Friendship White Rose: Peace Which Rose for u? Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi

It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."

Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Ghanti bajayenge aur bhag jayenge.

Tum kya jaano gum kya cheez hai, Tum kya jaano gum kya cheez hai, Are Tum kya jaano gum kya cheez hai, Tumne to sari umar cellotape use ki hai

Socha tha har mode pet era intezaar karenge. Par kambakht sadak hi sidhi nikli.

Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya Yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya

Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound, Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!

Ho gayi galti humse, click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse

Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain... Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...

A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE. A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

Bhagwan se Scooter manga.. Car di; Ghar manga.. bangla diya; dost manga toh tumhey diya.. Bhagwan ne isbar aisa zulm kyoun kiya

I've written a poem for you: Twinkle twinkle little star, You should know what you are, And once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far

When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit..... Coz liars go to hell !!!!

Ur words r ANTIBIOTICS, Ur smile is ANALGESIC, Ur touch is ANTI-INFLAMATORY, Ur presence is ANTISEPTIC, Ur SMS is ANTI-PYRETIC... That's why I never fall ill :-)

I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else ............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up !

1 day u'll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME... just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

Manjil ki taraf badte chalo, jo dil kahe usi rah ko chuno... peechhe walo ko aage na jane do aur jo aage hai usse aage niklo, tabhi 1 acche driver banoge.....

Apple ka juice mango ka juice tarbujh ka juice badam ka juice khajur ka juice kaaju ka juice jo sms he naa kare woh KaN-JuiS.!

1960s Girl: Pehla pehla pyar hai, chhai bahar hae, aja more sajna tera intzar hy. 2004 Girl: dusra/teesra pyar hai. dil bekrar hai, aja morey sajna varna chautha tayyar hai.

mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahi hoti hai clear. Isliye sms karo dear, without fear n very clear.

L o n g t i m e a g o... o n l y idiots used... to read my S M S. And, t o d a y, the history continues....

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat

A Couple- Before marriage Mad for each other, After marriage Made for each other, In future Mad because of each other.....!!!

Two birds sitting on a tree. A shikari came & shot 1 of them. The other fly away.....why? saala POLICE ke lafde me kaun padega !

You know biggest irony of marriage is that, Woman expects man to change & they don't & Man expects woman not to change & they do!

Khidki se dekha to raastey pe koi nahin tha, Khidki se dekha to raastey pe koi nahin tha, Raaste pe jaake dekha to khidki pe koi nahi tha.

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai. Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?". Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".

Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho, sada khil khilate raho, khush raho aur gungunate raho, mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge....

Medical Shayari When you breathe, you respire! Wah Wah! When you breathe, you respire! Wah Wah! When you don't breathe, you expire! Wah Wah, kya baat hai!

Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT !

I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else ............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up !

1 day u'll B srprisd 2C ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME... just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart, You are blessed with both!. FLATTERED?. Don't Be, it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it.

Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 "world peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said "Let me try world peace"

Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof. Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

Beta bola "papa papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai". Papa bole, "Nahi bete, abhi nahi". "Papa kyon ?" .......... "Bete abhi bandar SMS padh raha hai"

Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend

If i had gone 4 brain transplantation i have chosen ur brain b'coz i want 2 use the brain that is never used b4

Why do U think I SMS u ? Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ? Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz... Timepass ke liye koi BAKRA chaiye !

There are 8 ways to describe you... nice, friendly, so cute, loving, very sweet, funny, charming , thoughtful. In short, you're just like.... me !

If U sneeze once, Think I'm remembering you. If you sneeze twice, Think I want to Meet U. If U sneeze thrice, Think I'm Missing You. 4th Time, Fool Take A Tablet !

EYES : To look at you HAND : To pray for you Mind : To remember you Heart : To love you AND AND AND AND AND LEGS : To kick YOU.. If you forget me... !! GOT IT!!!

Don't marry AIRTEL girl, she will do magic on u. Don't marry BSNL girl, she has connections with all Indians. Don't marry IDEA girl, she touches u tomorrow, not today. Don't marry RELIANCE girl, she takes u in her mutthi mein. Marry only HUTCH girl, she follows u where ever u go

I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

See the sky youll see Gods face, see the rain you will dance once again, see the moon you will see the depth of lake. Now see the mirror and youll see the God cutest mistake.

Bachelors schedule Monday ko dosti, Tuesday ko pyaar, Wednesday ko shaadi, Thursday ko barbaadi, Friday ko fighting, Saturday ko talaaq, Sunday ko rest, Monday ko next!!!

Heartbeats are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams are endless, memories are timeless A friend like YOU shameless. Oops . Sorry priceless!!

Dost mere marne ke baad aansu na bahaana Jab yaah aaye meri, to seedhe upar hi chale aana.

Taj Mahal kya cheez hai, isse badi imaarat banaunga. Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thee, tujhe to main zinda dafnaunga!!!

Unlike others, your brain is a masterpiece. It is divided in 2 parts left & right. In the left nothing is right and in the right nothing is left.

If ever in your life, youre very sad & lonely& feel that you have lost everything. Ill come, hold your hand, take you for a walk on a bridge .. & show you where to jump!!!


A Noble Award winner dedicated his Novel to his wife and wrote It s dedicated to my Wife because in her absence I could complete this Book...

Bazu-o-mein dum rakhta hun, Dil mein gum rakhta hun, Pata tha SMS ayega tera, Isliye DISPRIN sang rakhta hun

aap hamari galli mein aaye thore sharmaye thore ghabraye thore sa myskaraye phir zoor se chillaye Aalu cholay masalay walay.

dil bechen he aaj kal mera jab se jiyada aane laga he mobile ka bill mera

SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand.

Duniya mein bewafai aam baat hai,Ab Sooraj ko hi dekh lo niklta Roshni ke saath hai,Rehta Kiran ke saath hai,Aur jaata Sandhya ke saath hai....

When hand stop.. lips work.. when lips stop...eyes work.. When eyes stop,heart works... when heart stop... abe MAAMU TU TAPAK GAYA HAI

Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without brain. Please tell them your age!

Promise me v r true frindz, i'm lamp ur lite, i'm coke ur sprite, i'm saawan u r baadal, i'm normal ur pagal. ha ha ha

God made a daylight n is called “SUN”, God made a entertatemaint n is called “FUN”, God made a nightlight n is called “MOON”, God made a U n is called “CARTOON”,

Kayamat ke din farishtene sabse kaha,"es papar per apane-apane gunah likho."achanak tumari aavaj aayi"Sir,sapliment please.

woh bhi kya din the jab log aapko kiss kiya karte the par apki phooti kismat tab aap hugies main hua karte the

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath dekha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath thaMoral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

Chandni chawk ka fawara na hota.India gate ka nazara na hota.Fashion ne agar ladkiyon ko bigada na hota.To india ka koi ladka awara na hot.

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!

I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in usa, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

You love someone... u marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your wife or husband & the one you loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.

Lost in a zoo I saw many animals.. Mouse BIRD Monkey ...! U 2

It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth? Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for selfish

Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have? Sweeper: I have the job.

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains. Rest have Girlfriends

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls? Both don't exist.

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

ek din Tarzan Jangal me ja raha tha usne maraa huaa cheeta dekha or bola oh my God MY New under wear

Vo kaun hai? * Jo ISHQ me hai? * Jo MANN me hai? * Jo DIL me hai? * magar DHADKAN me nahi? Jyada soch mat STUPID Vo hai AMIR KHAN

Wife- i will die. Husband- i will also die. Wife- Why do you want 2 die? husband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:! **

Kabristhan ke cahaukidar ke kabar pe baite hue kutte ki gale ke pat mein chupe hue virus ki sar ke baal ke andar ki bacteria ki kasam tusse!!! Great !!! ho!!!

i love U ilove U ilove U i love U ilove U hey don get xcited i love other alphabets too i.e V W X Y Z hahahaha

Have u ever seen a monkey wrapped in a polythene. NO THEN SEE YOUR IDTENTIYCARD.

Kitne din ho gaye kitne hafte gujar gaye baat mahino tak bhi chali gayi ab saal bhi ho jaega ab to kehna mano chalo aise na karo jaldi se NAHA LO


Good looks catch the eyes, but Good Personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! FLATTERED??? Dont Be!!! It was sent to ME, and I just wanted you to read it...

Darde dil me gam ki kaliya khilti hai, aab to tanhai aaksar hamse milti hai, aapne band kiya jabse SMS karna, MOBILE ki battery jyada chalti hai!

Great people talk about ideas, Average people talk about things, Small people talk about other people, And Legends never talk, they send SMS...

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u - it s really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp .... I m playing cards and we ve misplaced the JOKER.

zindagi behal hai ,sur hai na tal hai,msg box bhi kangal hai,kya apke sms factory me hadtal hai, yar kuch bhi bhejo, ye mere mobile ki zindagi ka sawal hai...

so,sweet ur smile. so,sweet ur style. so sweet ur voice. u c how sweetly i lie.

Pehle Dedar... Phir Yaar... Phir Ikraar... Phir Pyaar... Phir Intezar... Phir Takrar... Uske baad Sari Mehnat Bekar... At Last aur Ek Devdas in the Beear Bar.

Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Mujhe SMS Na Karke Zalim tu Kitne Paise BaChAyEgA.

For Heart Beat U Need Heart Fr Heart U Need Happiness Fr Happiness U Need Friendship Fr Friendship U Need Me

If I was an artist, you would be my picture! If I was a poet, you would be my inspiration! If I was an author you would be my story! But Im only a cartoonist!

When u read my sms,SWEETER when u read and smile,but u look sweetest when u read ,smile and reply,so try to look sweetest

subah ko yaad aayi to miss kiya,dopar ko yaad aayi to bahut miss kiya,shaam ko yaad aayi to heart ne skip kiya ,aur jab jaan pe ban aayi to sms kiya .

Dreams make all things possible, Hope makes all things work, Love makes all things beautiful, Smile makes all the above things possible.... So, BRUSH UR TEETH EVERYDAY

************** Kash mere dardo ki tujhe aise saja mile, Kash mere dardo ki tujhe aesi saja mile, Tuje aayi ho bade jor se SUSU, Aur kahi karne ki jaga na mile. **************

************** Kya bindas hava chal raheli hai, birdy gana ga rahele hain, Cow log grass eat rahele hain, shane log SMS kar rahele hain aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahele hain... **************

************** I like watching you, I like to spend my time with you But you are always surrounded by others As you are the main attaraction of the ZOO!!! **************

************** Aapki yaad mein meine kalam uthai, Liya kakaz aur tasveer aapki banai. Socha tha dil se laga ke rakhen us tasveer ko, par vo toh bachcho ko daranye ke kaam aayi. **************

************** Give one english word for...... apne kiye pe pani pher dena ..............? ..........? ......? I I_____ FLUSH -( ) - )____( *************

Kripya Dhyan de....... Dhayan dene ke liye Dhanyavad ha ha ha............

Paani Aane Ki Baat Karte Ho, Dil Jalane Ki Baat Karte Ho. 4 Din Se Muhe Nahi Doya, Tum Nahane Ki Baat Karte Ho.

karo shri ganpati bapa ke darshan papiyon ko nahin dikhte!

Mandir mein jaap karta hoon, Masjid mein adaab karta hoon, Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon.

Ansu aap ka Niklaa aur Aankhen maree hoo, Dil aap ka Dharkay aur Dharken maree hoo, Khuda kare Hamra Payar Itnaa Gharaa hoo, JOB aap karaa aur INCOME maree hoo.

Conducting a Blood Test On U....Testing In Progress...Testing...Testing...Result.......... ........< Honey In Veins > No wonder U R So Sweeeeeettttttttt.....!!!!!

Life is difficult,full of trials,sorrow,pain,but if u fall down,just stand up straight be confident & say ..... +*+**DHAKKA KISNE MARA BE**+*+ .....

U r ACENT of my life, ALTO of my dreams, IKON of my eyes ,Zen of my thoughts, INDICA of my joy, LANCER of my heart…In simple ,u r the traffic jam of my heart…

% % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % Kya Dekh rahe ho Machhar hai mar do...

Phoolon mein hasin Gulab hai.Husan ke saath zaruri Sharaab hai,Duniya mein har sawal ka jawab hai...Agar koi tumse mere pooche to kehna woh Lajwab hai...

Jiwant asal tar SMS pathwa. Dhagat gela asal tar PUAS pathwa. Swargat asal tar APSARA Pathwa. Aani jar Markat asal tar tumcha HANDSET pathwa.

When we had met, God gave me an option between a good friend & a good memory. I don t remember what i chose.....

Hazarou phoolo mai, hamai ek phool bahuth kuhb laga es phool ku pane ke leya, hum ne dosti ka sath liya dosto nai kaha, es phool ko panae ke liye, kato sai guzar na hoga hum nai kab kaha ke hum kata sai dhaar tai agar kata se dhaar thai tu hum gulab ke phool ku na dhektha hum tu phir chamali ke aur dekhtai ...